Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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