Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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