Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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