just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think your dad took our porno
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
