Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
