don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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