but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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