My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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