Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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