Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
