I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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