You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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