Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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