We should be called the Road Head Warriors
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
