youre lurking in front of me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
