An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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