question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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