god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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