I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
