Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
