I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
