butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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