yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
