I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
