She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
