Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
