I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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