Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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