So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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