It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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