After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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