1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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