you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
