can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
