I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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