Where is the hickey?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
