THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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