There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
