I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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