i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
