You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
