man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't deserve a penis
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
