Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
