there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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