Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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