okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
