I must be too annoying 4 u.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
