So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
