The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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