he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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