So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
