Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
