Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
