The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
