u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
