Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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