Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
