just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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