They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
