She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
