a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize