I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
