at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
