I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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