Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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