just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
