I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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