she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize