I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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