seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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